Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
