One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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