Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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