you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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