It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
