I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
