Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
