It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
