nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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