Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
