you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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