ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize