what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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