I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
