Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
