you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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