11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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