But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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