Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Found your dick twin last night
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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