So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
