Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
no you cant smoke seaweed
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
