Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
