I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
