Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if only i could text you this smell
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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