but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
