my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
