If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What a dumb baby whore.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Come on in and take your pants off
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