He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
