Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
