nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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