be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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