You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
