Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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