I'm going to jail i love you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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