I wannas sexs uuuuu
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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