Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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