Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Bring me that man meat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
