I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize