I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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