I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
