im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
