Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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