I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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