i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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