Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
