Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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