You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
