i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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