Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
