But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
