I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
