I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize