I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
