I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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