i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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