You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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