Already got asked if we're dating
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
