so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
