No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I see more hoeing in ur future
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