Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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