Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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